How to find gay friends

Men seem determined to frustrate me at every turn. I only have one legit gay friend and one lesbian friend. So really no gay friends. I have a lesbian sister, but she live 4 states away. I had one true Gay friend who was like a blood brother to me, but he passed away suddenly and way too young.

They all want to have sex. Then he responded to me one day. Sorry, dude. Most of my close gay friends are guys I have had sex with one time, and only once. And thereafter we became great friends without another word being spoken about having sex — except with other guys. I live right outside of NYC. I was seeing someone recently and he was very well connected with a strong group of friends.

I found this incredibly intimidating since he constantly wanted to bring me around to them, whether they be his city friends, local friends, or college friends. Reading comments and advice has been great. I want that strong group of people.

How to Make Friends in the Gay Community | HuffPost

Some of them it was a struggle, because they thought that all gay men wanted to be with them. Many of them felt that way because, most of the gay men they met had ulterior motives. I respect them and they respect me. Many of my straight friends tend to be over protective at times, but there is nothing sexual between us.

It is easy to make friends as longs as the boundaries are clearly set. Please log in to add your comment Need an account? Search for: Get Queerty Daily Subscribe to Queerty for a daily dose of life advice dating stories and more.

When You Have No Gay Friends

Renone Good suggestions! Renone Thanks. CJones01 Going to a bar during trivia night might be a good way to start. Heywood Jablowme Excellent points. Blackceo Ahhh the age old question. CodyJ WOW….. Danny When we build a culture based upon pervasive and long-term promiscuity, this is where we end up. Heywood Jablowme I like a lot of the suggestions here. GayEGO Good question. Paco You both have to be sexually repulsed by the other.

Keep it to yourself. It's your friend's decision where and when and if he comes out to someone, not yours. If your friend confides in you, respect his confidentiality and don't tell anyone else unless he has given you the okay. Don't make any assumptions about who knows about your friend's orientation, and definitely don't say anything on social media unless your friend says it's okay. Method 4.

Figure out what your issues with your friends sexual orientation are exactly. Are you homophobic and that is why you are having a hard time with your friend's sexual orientation? Are you afraid of being made fun of for having a gay friend? These are all questions you need to contemplate in order to continue your friendship. One of the central questions you need to ask yourself is: Do you care about your friend to the point where you value your relationship?

If the answer is yes, then it is important for you to continue working on your relationship. Sometimes straight people who have a friend of the same sex who comes out as gay are worried that their friend will now be attracted to them. Realize that this is the same as having straight friends that are members of the opposite sex.

Not every gay person of the same sex will be attracted to you, just as not every member of the opposite sex will be attracted to you.

How to Make Friends in the Gay Community

Read about the nature of sexual orientation and how to deal with your friend's sexual orientation. It is not your friend's job to educate you about the issues you are facing. She has enough on her plate dealing with the effects of coming out. You should seek out information on reliable sources on the internet or in books on the subject. You can also talk to other people who have dealt with the same issue.

Talk to someone other than your friend. You should not force your friend to help you accept him. He has enough to deal with already. Instead, see if there's a local chapter of PFLAG Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays , which may help you find answers and other people with gay friends or family members.


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You may also wish to talk to a professional counselor or therapist or someone that you trust. If you choose a mental health professional that is accepting of LGBT identity, they can help you understand and move through your feelings. They may even be able to help you accept your friend's sexual orientation. You can also talk to your religious leader or others who share your beliefs. This can be especially helpful for someone who is having a hard time keeping their religious faith while also supporting their friend.

Realize that your friend is still your friend.

Gay student surprised his straight BFF wanted to be his spring formal date

Just because your friend is attracted to people of the same sex does not change your mutual interests or the memories you've shared. It's important to keep this in mind when working to keep the friendship alive and when reassuring your friend that your relationship is still important and strong. Make your choice. Is your friendship worth potentially being made fun of? Are you willing to stand up against someone bullying your friend? Are you confident enough with your own sexuality to have a friend whose sexuality is different from you?

If your relationship is important you will need to do some work on yourself in order to keep your friendship strong during this new phase. Consider making a pro and con list. Just write down everything you're afraid of for the cons, and everything good that would happen for the pros. Discuss this list with your therapist or counselor so that each issue can be addressed individually.